


Titles are for people who have brains and I have none

by RainbowsandSparkles



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, M/M, Texting, baz is sad but when is he not, dev and niall are good friends, trash, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:00:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25999393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowsandSparkles/pseuds/RainbowsandSparkles
Summary: Baz has feelings and Dev and Niall are good friends who talk to him.
Relationships: Dev/Niall (Simon Snow)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Titles are for people who have brains and I have none

**Author's Note:**

> honestly this is absolute trash im really just expressing my own feelings through fictional characters and thats on healthy coping mechanisms

**GAYMERS**

**Baz:** I love being enough (:

**Niall:** you okay bro?

**Baz:** I just want to be wanted you know? I want to be enough for someone like why do I keep feeling like I have to keep giving to people until they love me

**Baz:** if I’m not enough now then they will never love me no matter how much of myself I give

**Baz:** and yet I still keep being like I’ll do this for you, I’ll help you with this, and the person never fucking cares. They don’t care! So why do I keep doing shit

**Dev:** I mean your love language is acts of service so its probably that? But maybe you should work on who you’re giving it to mate.

**Baz:** hehe giving it to. I wish.

**Niall:** yeah you keep doing stuff for people who do not and will not ever deserve you and they will get used to you just being there and will never appreciate you

**Niall:** maybe if you take a step back from the person they will learn what its like without you and appreciate you more or they wont notice you were ever there and wont miss you and then you know you’ve dodged a bad one.

**Baz:** what you’re saying is good but it makes me feel sad.

**Baz:** I just want to be loved

**Niall:** we love you

**Dev:** speak for yourself I think you’re a prick

**Baz:** love you too niall xxxx fuck off Dev you’re only here cause you like Niall

**Niall:** ayyyyy

**Dev:** oi

**Niall:** kissesssss

**Dev:** you make me eye roll so hard

**Baz:** anyway back to me

**Baz** : listen I know you guys love me but romantically?? I just don’t believe that shit

**Baz:** someone could say hey I love you and id go ha ha thanks bro love you too but also be like haha they hate me and everything I do

**Baz:** and why?? where is this coming from why cant I take this at face value why do I feel like someone needs to prove it to me and what would they have to do to make me believe it like what do I actually need from them

**Baz:** cause like if I know what I need then I can ask for it right?! I can be like hello im an awful person who will never believe you love me no matter how much you tell me so I need you to do this so that I know you love me cause that’s how healthy relationships work right

**Baz:** but I don’t even know what I need so I cant ask for it so ill just be sad forever in a loving relationship that feels loveless

**Niall:** I mean number one stop talking for a second because you’re spiralling

**Niall:** number two take some deep breaths because what do we do in a crisis?

**Dev:** we breathe!

**Niall:** thank you baby

**Niall:** now number one its great that you know you have a problem with emotional intimacy we will call it because that means that you can now focus and target it.

**Niall:** secondly it is okay to not know what you need. You will get into a relationship and not necessarily know what you need out of it but you can work on that with your partner and maybe they will do something and you will be like oh? THIS is what I need. THIS is the good kush

**Dev:** yeah like I find touch really grounding and reassuring so I like it when Niall is touching me in some way but I only realised that when he touched me because before I thought ew people touching me

**Dev:** you don’t need to solve all your problems now. You don’t even need to fix all your problems in a relationship its just something you can start to work on. Being a giving person isn’t a bad thing if anything it makes you quite nice and even if the person you do it for doesn’t appreciate it you still feel good doing it so its still a win. And anyway not believing someone loves you is shit its shit for them and its shit for you because it makes you sad and probably means you can spiral into ‘this person hates me’ a lot easier than someone who believes it can.

**Dev:** Being loved is about knowing, trusting, and believing.

**Dev:** you can know a person loves you and not believe it and that’s probably where you’ll be at when you start a relationship but then you can start to trust that that person loves you. You trust within yourself and you trust that you know and then that trusting will then develop into believing

**Niall:** it’s a process

**Baz:** no one will want to bother with that

**Niall:** and yet,,,,

**Dev:** if they love you they’ll bother mate

**Dev:** its just how love works

**Niall:** yeah you can stick with a right twat even when theyre a twat just because you love them

**Dev:** I feel attacked

**Niall:** love you too

**Baz:** you two are too gay for me

**Dev:** you’re the only homosexual in this chat

**Niall:** yeah fuck off you wanker im bisexual!

**Dev:** yeah! And im still working on my identity but its not something that I need to focus on right now but Nialls pretty cool so there.

**Niall:** and we are very proud of your journey and support you and also having no label is valid

**Baz:** preach!

**Dev:** thanks fuckers.

**Baz:** anyway thank you, both of you, I appreciate you putting me in the right head space and your continual support of me.

**Dev:** no problem bro we love you dude

**Niall:** yeh! We will continue to love you and support you in all your stupid dumb mind thots when youre just plain wrong.

**Niall:** and also you are enough. No matter what you tell yourself.

**Baz** : :)


End file.
